In the latest episode of Game of Thrones, Jon gets a familiar visitor, Tyrion makes a deal and Dany shows the Khals who’s boss.
Game of Thrones keeps making me cry. It’s bad enough I cried after seeing Jon rise from the dead. This episode saw Jon and Sansa reunite just before he left Castle Black for good. I didn’t think I would cry but as soon as I saw Sansa’s face when the gates opened, my eyes started to water. By the time brother and sister finally embraced, I was a mess. Finally, something good has happened to the Starks.
Once things calm down, Sansa gets down to business. She wants her brother to take Winterfell, which Jon refuses to do at first. He is tired of fighting, especially after being murdered by men of the Night’s Watch. But Sansa ain’t tryin to hear that mess. She will take Winterfell if she has to do it alone, but would rather not. Sansa finally has had enough of people taking advantage of her naiveté. She is a Stark and will do what is necessary or die trying. Thank the Mother, the girl finally has some balls!
Theon is on a ship back to Pyke, his ancestral home. The last time he was there, his father rejected him. Now, his Balon is dead and his sister Yara wants to rule. She doesn’t trust her brother any longer, especially after her failed attempt at rescuing Theon from the Dreadfort. But Theon doesn’t want to do anything but help his sister become ruler of the Iron Islands. Will she allow him to help or send him packing?
In the Vale, young Robin Arryn, (played by a very tall Lino Facioli) is practicing his archery. The kid sucks at it, as in pretty much everything else. Lord Baelish arrives (who has been MIA for a while) bearing a gift for the young lord’s Name Day. While Robin gawks at his new present, Little Finger and Lord Royce spar about Sansa’s marriage to Ramsay Bolton. Lord Royce accuses Lord Baelish of scheming with the Boltons. Baelish takes offence (even though that’s exactly what he did) and accuses Lord Royce of being the one who schemed. When Royce flexes his muscles, Baelish uses the simple Robin to decide whether Royce should be punished. Royce gets quiet real quick cuz everyone knows Robin likes throwing people through the Moon Door, like his mother before him. And that’s what Lord Baelish is counting on. He gets his wish and Robin suggests a trip through the Moon Door. Royce talks of always being loyal to House Arryn, his father, blah blah blah. Robin asks his uncle if Royce is telling the truth. With Royce’s balls in hand, Baelish saves the man’s ass and secures his army to fight against House Bolton.
At Winterfell, the Wildling Osha has been cleaned up and summoned to see Ramsay, who’s busy peeling an apple. He wants to know why she had Rickon Stark and she claims she wants to sell him to the highest bidder. She tries to play coy like she could care less about the Starks, but we know that’s bollocks and, unfortunately, so does Ramsay. Like I’ve said before, Ramsay may be crazy, but he isn’t stupid. Osha tries to use her girly parts to distract Ramsay so she can get at a knife on the table. She’s almost successful but not fast enough. Ramsay sticks her in the neck with another knife and Osha falls to the floor. Then he wipes her blood off of the knife and continues peeling the apple while she bleeds out. So close!
In Meereen, Tyrion has decided to treat with the slave masters in order to cut off their funding to the Sons of the Harpy. Missendei and Grey Worm thinks it’s a mistake to do this, but Tyrion tries to convince them otherwise. When Halfman mistakenly claims to know enough about the horrors of slavery, Missendei asks him how many days had he been a slave. “Long enough to know.” But Missendei counters by saying, “Not long enough to understand.” Exactly!
In the meeting, Tyrion makes a deal with the slave masters that they can continue to own slaves for seven years. Not for nothing, but that deal made me sick. It was like Abraham Lincoln all over again (who many mistakenly think wanted to end slavery right away. Wrong, people. He didn’t.). The slave masters agree, but Grey Worm is pissed about the deal. He knows that the deal will backfire somehow and I can’t imagine Khaleesi being okay with it, either. We’ll find out soon enough.
In King’s Landing, Queen Margaery is still in her cell, waiting to be set free. Septa Unella arrives and the Queen is sure she’s about to receive another reading/beating. Instead, she’s taken out of her cell to listen to another boring talk by the High Sparrow. He was a cobbler, made a lot of money, blah blah blah. I usually tune out when he starts talking. Anywho, the Queen gets to see her brother and man is he messed up. Loras is broken and just wants it all to stop. Margaery wants her brother to suck it up but he’s like, “I can’t, just make it stop, waaahhhhhh.” Must the women do everything?
In the Keep, Cersei interrupts her son being “advised” by Maester Pycelle. When Cersei tells him to leave, the Maester, who is enjoying every bit of Cersei’s irrelevance, tells her that he’ll leave when the King dismisses him. Tommen, ever the mediator, dismisses Pycelle, who takes his sweet time leaving the room, exaggerating that fake limp of his. I hope he remembers how vengeful Cersei can be, because she’s going to get his ass eventually. Once she’s alone with her son, Tommen reveals a secret told to him by the High Sparrow. Later, Cersei and her brother/boyfriend meet with their uncle Kevan and Lady Olenna. Before they can be dismissed again, Cersei tells them that Margaery will have to take a Walk of Atonement, just like Cersei. Lady Olenna is like, “oh hell no, that ain’t gonna happen, not to my family.” Cersei agrees and they all come up with a plan to save the Queen and get rid of the Faith Militant once and for all. Lady Olenna and Cersei working together? Be afraid. Be very, very afraid.
Back at Castle Black, Jon, Sansa and the rest are having a meal, if that’s what you want to call it. Tormund Giantsbane is making it known that he’s interested in Brienne of Tarth, since he hasn’t taken his eyes off of her. I don’t know about anyone else, but that has to happen. Torienne? Brormund? Hell, whatever you want to call them, Tormund and Brienne need to happen asap. Anywho, Jon receives a letter from Ramsay, which is basically a silly letter meant to goad Jon into attacking Winterfell. When Jon reads that Rickon is being held prisoner, Sansa convinces her brother to fight for Winterfell. Jon asks Tormund how many fighters he has ready, to which Tormund says about 2,000. Jon looks at his sister and agrees to fight for Winterfell. I swear I hollered when he gave Sansa the nod because: 1) I’ve had enough of Ramsay’s crazy ass; and 2) it’s almost time for another epic GOT battle. If the Battle at Hardhome can be topped, I’d like to see it.
And at Vaes Dothrak, our Khaleesi is listening to the widows talk of their lives. Most were married to horrible Khals and were treated like dirt. One in particular had her ribs broken when she gave birth to a daughter. Classy. I’m sure she’s happy as hell that dude died. The head widow tells Dany that, if she’s lucky, the Khals will rule that she live her days in the temple. Come on! This is Game of Thrones! She’s not staying there and she definitely isn’t going to let a bunch of Khals choose her fate. Dany decides to get some air and pretends she needs to pee. She and another widow, the one of the broken ribs, walk outside and they chat a bit before being ambushed by Daario and Jorah. Dany tells them not to harm the widow and she asks for the girl’s trust, which she is given freely. Later, Dany shows them all why she is called the Unburnt.
The Khal’s all meet in the temple to decide what to do with Dany. They all sit there like a bunch of peacocks talking over her and making all kinds of crude comments. She shocks them all when Dany asks if they want to know what she thinks. They literally looked at her like she had an extra head when she asked that question. Khal Moro tells her no one cares what she thinks and she’ll do what they decide. Okay! Dany calls them all small men and says they can’t rule a khalasar, but she can and she will. The Khals say they won’t serve her but she says, “no worries, you don’t have to serve, just die, bitches.” Well, she didn’t say that, but you get the idea. And then Dany pushes one of the fire lanterns over and the place goes up in flames. She pushes another fire lantern over and the Khals are surrounded by fire. They try to get out, but the doors are barred shut. Khal Moro turns and looks at Dany, who pushes the last fire lantern over and the flames consume all of the Khals. The temple is just a big ball of fire, but in the doorway, Daenerys Targaryen, the Unburnt, comes out of the flames, naked, but unhurt.
The entire khalasar kneels before her, as do Jorah and a completely shocked Daario. What will Dany do now that she rules the Dothraki and the Unsullied? Will Jon and Sansa retake Winterfell? And will Cersei’s and Lady Olenna’s alliance free Margaery from another one of the High Sparrow’s boring lectures?
Game of Thrones airs on Sunday at 9 p.m. on HBO.
Photos courtesy of HBO.