In the latest episode of Game of Thrones, Sansa sets Littlefinger straight, Jorah reveals a truth to Dany, Bran starts some major shit and . . . Hodor.
At the Wall, Sansa is sewing. She’s always been very good at it and hasn’t forgotten her lessons. She’s working on something when she receives a letter. After reading, she and Brienne head to Mole’s Town to meet with Lord Baelish. After his surprise (and some fear) at seeing Brienne at Sansa’s side, he starts off by saying how happy he is to see Sansa escaped Winterfell unharmed. “Unharmed?” she says. And then Sansa begins to describe a taste of what she suffered at the hands of that psycho, Ramsay Bolton. “What do you think he did to me?” When Littlefinger took too long with his answer, Brienne put her hand on her sword and said, “Lady Sansa asked you a question.” Lord Baelish tried to come up with an answer, but there was no way he would scratch the surface of her pain. “I can still feel it. I don’t mean in my tender heart, it still pains me so I can still feel what he did in my body, standing here right now.” I’m praying to the old gods and the new, to the Lord of Light and anything else out there who will listen: please, please, please let Sansa or Jon kill that maniac Ramsay. Not a quick death, but one that will take so long that he will beg for his pain to end.
Lord Baelish tries to talk his way out of what he did to Sansa, but she has lost all trust in him. “You freed me from the monsters who murdered my family. And you gave me to other monsters who murdered my family.” Had she been Cersei, he would be dead already. But Sansa shows him mercy and lets him leave. Before he goes, Lord Baelish tells Sansa that her great uncle, the Blackfish, has retaken River Run, in case she needs an army loyal to the Starks. When she says she already has her brother’s army, he reminds her that Jon is her “half-brother” and then leaves. Will Sansa’s mercy come back to bite her?
At the House of Black and White, Arya is still getting her ass beat, but not nearly as bad as before. She trains and trains, but the Waif is still better. When she knocks Our Rebel down for the nth time, she tells Arya she should go home before it’s too late. But Arya is a Stark and they don’t stop. She pulls a Bruce Lee and gets ready for battle once again. But the Waif decides it’s time to show Arya what’s what. She drops her fighting stick and proceeds to beat Arya down using her fists and some choreography I would love to learn myself. The Waif’s last punch stuns Arya for a few seconds before she falls to the floor. Again. The Waif thinks Arya is a lost cause and Jaqen comes in and says she may be right. Oh snap!
Arya follows Jaqen and he starts blathering about the first Faceless Men, what they did, blah blah blah. Then he gives Arya a task: she has to give the Death Water to an actress named Crane. The next day, Arya is at the show, which starts off pretty funny, but then turns dark when it pokes fun at what happened to Ned Stark at the Sept of Baelor. Jaqen is smart. He knew that show would upset her and wanted to see if she could still do her duty. It was hard, but Arya made her observations and figured out a way to give Crane the Death Water. Side Note: stop giving us piecemeal shots of penises. We’ve seen boobs galore since GOT aired, it’s time to up the ante on the penis shots. Start with Jon Snow, please and thank you.
On Pyke, Yara Greyjoy makes her case at the King’s Moot. She believes she should be Queen, but the men would rather bathe than have a woman rule (sounds familiar). Theon makes a speech about how his sister is better equipped to rule until his uncle Euron steps up. He makes fun of Theon (of course) and admits that he killed Balon. He’s the one who has seen more of the world than anyone. He’s the one who will take Westeros and make the Iron Islands mighty again. The men fell for the Kool-Aid and decided they wanted Euron as their King. As Euron goes through the test (which consists of literally being drowned), Yara, Theon and those loyal to them take Pyke’s best ships and flee. When Euron comes to, he is crowned King of the Iron Islands. His first order of business is to murder his niece and nephew, but they are long gone. Euron tells his men to start building because he wants a thousand ships. Good luck with that.
Bran, who has been steadily learning more and more about his family and pretty much everything else, found out that the Children were the ones who created the White Walkers. He asked Leaf about it and she said it was to defend themselves from the First Men, who were slaughtering the Children left and right (sounds familiar). Now they have taken over and there’s nothing they can do.
Across the sea, Dany confronts Jorah about his loyalty. She is conflicted because he betrayed her in the past, but has definitely made up for it. When she tries to approach him, he reveals the greyscale on his arm. Dany is devastated and wants to know if there is a cure. Jorah has no idea, but what he does know is that he loves his Khaleesi and always will. He walks away and Dany tells him that he has not been dismissed. The Queen demands he find a cure so he can return to her. Well, good luck with that Jorah. Hopefully, this isn’t the last we’ll see of him.
Back in Meereen, Tyrion decides he wants to form an alliance with another Red Woman, who goes by the name of Kinvara. This one spouted the same stuff that came out of Melisandre’s mouth and Varys wasn’t having it. He talked of Melisandre’s predictions about Stannis and how wrong she was. But then Kinvara fucked Varys’ head up when she talked of when he was cut. When she asked him about the voice he heard when the sorcerer threw his “parts” in the fire, Varys was shaken. Even more so when she asked him if he wanted to know the name behind that voice and what he said. I’ve never seen anyone shake the Spider, so you know this Red Woman is the real deal.
Back at Castle Black, Jon, Sansa and the rest are strategizing. They need more men if they’re going to retake Winterfell and right now, they have no idea who to trust. The Umbers and Karstarks have already pledged to House Bolton, but maybe the other houses will stand behind the Starks. Davos mentions that Jon does not have the Stark name but Sansa says she does. Will those families stand behind a young woman to retake Winterfell? Another side note: PLEASE let Brienne and Tormund happen! Seeing that goofy grin on his face when he looked at Brienne made me laugh and hope that they become an item. That would be one fierce combination!
Okay, we’ve gotten all of this other stuff out of the way. Time to discuss Brandon Stark. Bran, what were you thinking? WHY would you warg on your own?? Why would you wake the White Walkers?? Everything that happened after your vision is YOUR fault, damn you!! Yes, we now know why Hodor says that one word over and over again. I blame the Three-Eyed Raven for that one. That poor baby, who was a gentle, soft-spoken young man loved by your family, became the simple man that he is now. Hodor saw his future and it ruined him. But his future was sealed when you brought the Night’s King and his White Walkers to him. What it must have been like for Hodor to realize that his future had arrived, that his life was going to end. How many times did he hear “Hold the door” in his dreams? In his waking life? GOT is famous for messing with our hearts and killing those we love (Ned Stark, Robb Stark, Prince Oberyn), but this one really, truly hurts. Yes, we can say that Hodor’s fate was sealed back when he had the fit, but we don’t know that, do we? So Brandon Stark, fuck you.
Is Bran now the Three-Eyed Raven? Will he and Meera even get far enough from the White Walkers to survive? Will Jon and Sansa successfully raise an army and retake Winterfell? And will any of us be the same without Hodor?
Game of Thrones airs on Sunday at 9 p.m. on HBO.
Photos courtesy of HBO.