In the latest episode of Game of Thrones: Jaime and Bronn survive, Tyrion ain’t ready for Dany’s justice, Arya and Littlefinger try to one up each other, and Jon makes a special friend.
After last week’s absolutely amazing episode, I figured this one would be pretty low key. Ummm, not so much. Dany made it clear to the remaining Lannister army, and to her Hand Tyrion, that she means business: bend the knee or die. That’s it. Nothing more. One or the other. Some of the men knelt (smart) but the rest were like, “Nah, I ain’t kneeling to YOU, woman. I don’t care that you burned my boys to ashes.” Not sure how defiant you want to be with a gigantic dragon staring you in the face. Said dragon turned towards the non-kneelers and let out a roar that was freaking terrifying. The majority knelt after that, but guess who didn’t? Lord Tarly, of course. He and his son Dickon (I mean really?) remained standing, which took some serious balls. Dany asked Lord Tarly why he wouldn’t kneel and he said he already had a Queen. Tyrion pointed out that Lady Olenna was his Queen until he turned on her to support Cersei, so he ain’t loyal. But Tarly stayed firm. Dany was like, welp, guess you’re dying then. Dickon said he would die, too. Tarly and Tyrion tried to talk him out of it to keep House Tarly alive, but he said, nope, I’m going. Dany obliged, sentencing them both to death by fire, which freaked Tyrion out! Dany said a quiet “Dracarys” and Drogon lit House Tarly up. Dragonfire is no joke! Those two were incinerated in less than 10 seconds and then BROKE IN HALF. Unless Sam somehow leaves the Night’s Watch and returns to Horn Hill, House Tarly died on that field.
Afterwards, Dany went back to Dragonstone. Jon was standing on one of the cliffs and watched as she rode in on Drogon. When the dragon landed, it went straight for Jon, which scared the crap out of me. How Jon stayed calm while a large dragon came walking towards him is beyond me. I would have died on the spot. But Jon stayed cool, letting Drogon get close to him. The dragon seemed to be curious about Jon (and we all know why). The King in the North took off one of his gloves and reached his shaking hand towards the dragon’s snout. The fact that Drogon bared his rather large teeth didn’t calm my nerves at all. Dany was trying to see what was happening but her baby’s big head obscured her view. Jon put his hand on Drogon’s face and the dragon sounded like he was cooing, looking at Jon with googly dragon eyes. When Dany saw what was happening, she had the look of “what the ever loving fuck?” on her face.
Climbing down off of her dragon, Dany and Jon talked about what transpired on the battlefield. She explained that she did what she had to do, even though she didn’t like it. As they were talking, Hot Dothraki Qhono interrupts and tells his Khaleesi that some dude has arrived saying he’s a friend. That friend is newly cured Jorah Mormont. The two reunite and it was really sweet. For a moment I thought they were going to kiss, but viewers are shipping too hard for Jon and Dany to get together (even though they’re related and that would be gross), but when has this show ever given a damn what we wanted?
Back at King’s Landing, Jaime and Bronn have returned after surviving the battle. Bronn made it clear to Jaime that should Dany come to King’s Landing with her dragons, he’s out. No one ever accused Bronn of being an idiot. Jaime went straight to Cersei’s quarters and told her about the slaughter. He told her about what he saw and the carnage done by just one dragon. Imagine if Dany decides to bring all three to King’s Landing? Jaime wants his sister to yield so their House and the Red Keep can survive. But we all know Cersei. She ain’t giving up without a fight. She sarcastically mentions Tyrion and how he could possibly speak on their behalf. But then she mentions Joffrey and Jaime tells her Tyrion had nothing to do with the Brat King’s death. “It was Olenna,” he blurts out and for a moment, Cersei doesn’t believe him. “If you were Olenna, would you want to see your granddaughter married to Joffrey or Tommen? Who would be easier to control?” Cersei is pissed because she wanted to really hurt Lady Olenna instead of letting Jaime talk her into giving the old woman poison. But Jaime tells her that doesn’t matter. House Tyrell is dead and they will be too if they don’t figure out how to get out of the war with Dany. Like Cersei told Ned Stark in Season 1, “you play the game of thrones or you die.” Cersei knows how to play that game well. But will her scheming and cunning be enough to win?
Speaking of schemers, Littlefinger is playing a game with Arya and it’s going to get one or both of them killed. Arya is itching to do some damage and Littlefinger is the one she’s aiming for. But Lord Baelish hasn’t survived seven seasons of this damn show for nothing. He is a master manipulator and he’s already in Sansa’s head about Winterfell. What better way to move things along than to create discourse between the Starks? While Bran is doing his three-eyed raven thing, Sansa and Arya are tense with each other, almost hostile. Arya knows her sister’s mind and she doesn’t like what’s in there. I only hope things don’t escalate before it’s too late to salvage their family.
Tyrion and Varys are nervous about Dany. Her attack on the loot train was, in their minds, rash and don’t even get Tyrion started on how she burned the Tarlys. They need to find a way to end the war without any more carnage before Dany takes her dragons to King’s Landing. So Halfman and Davos sail to King’s Landing to try and talk some sense into Cersei via Jaime. At Blackwater Bay, the two men separate, with Tyrion going to meet his brother and Davos taking care of secret business in Fleabottom. Bronn sets up the whole thing, disguising the meeting as a training session. He takes the Kingslayer to the lower dungeons where he meets with his brother. Jaime is NOT happy to see Tyrion. He cuts to the chase: what does Tyrion want?
In Fleabottom, Davos enters a smithy and finds the long-lost Gendry Baratheon, bastard son of Robert Baratheon. The last time we saw him, Gendry was rowing a boat away from Dragonstone after Davos helped him escape Melisandre and Stannis. Unless you’ve been under a rock, you’ve most likely seen the memes about Gendry’s whereabouts. GOT knew about the memes too and made a joke about it. “I thought you were still rowing,” is what Davos says to Robert’s son. Gendry knows what the Onion Knight wants of him and he’s ready to go. He grabs a bag and a slick hammer (Robert’s weapon of choice) he made himself and they head to Blackwater Bay. While waiting for Tyrion, two Gold Cloaks walk over and Davos pays them off to get them off their backs. They head off until they happen to see Tyrion. He walks by them, but the guards know Cersei is looking for him and are about to make trouble. Like his father before him, Gendry smashes them with his hammer, ending any trouble before it begins. The three men jump back into the boat and head back to Dragonstone.
At Dragonstone, Jon meets Gendry, who Davos told before introducing him not to mention his being Robert’s bastard. Well, Gendry does the damn opposite and tells Jon who he really is. Luckily, Jon appreciates his honesty and a bromance is born. Later, Jon reads a letter from Bran: the Night King and his army are making their way to Eastwatch by the Sea. Tormund and the other Wildlings are there and need to be warned. So, Jon bids adieu to Dany, who is a bit upset about him leaving Dragonstone. She tried the “you didn’t ask permission” crap but Jon will do what he wants when it comes to saving lives. He leaves Khaleesi on Dragonstone and he, Jorah, Davos and Gendry sail to Eastwatch.
At the Citadel, the Maesters are all sitting around discussing Bran’s letter about the Night King. Like the politicians and clergy we have in real life, they sit around jabbering but not really doing anything. Sam tries to get them all to listen to Bran and take his message seriously, but they don’t. Later that night, Gilly is reading a book by a former Maester, who recorded pretty much everything. Including an annulment and secret marriage. The annulment was for Rhaegar Targaryen, who was married to? We don’t fucking know because Sam chose that very moment to interrupt Gilly and start bitching about the damn Maesters!!! I mean, really HBO?? Really, GOT writers?? That’s how you reward our loyalty? By continuously fucking with our emotions??? Damn you!! Damn you all!!!
Back at King’s Landing, Jaime visits his sister’s quarters and Qyburn is there. He leaves the Lannisters to speak in private and Jaime reveals that he met with Tyrion. For a moment, I thought Cersei was going to kill him right then and there, but she gives Jaime a chance to tell her about Tyrion’s offer. Dany wants to offer an armistice, which Cersei finds curious. She asks Jaime if he punished Bronn for his betrayal and he realizes that his sister knew about the meeting all along. She wanted the meeting to happen because she needs to get close to Dany in order to defeat her, especially now that there’s a baby on the way. Wait, what?? Yup, Cersei is preggers and Jaime is the father! He gets all choked up which just GROSSES ME OUT! The two hug and kiss and then Cersei tells her brother to never betray her again. If Jaime survives this season, I will be surprised.
At Eastwatch, Jon and his crew arrive and they lay out their plan to Tormund. To get the rest of the Westerosi to believe that the Night King is real, they’re going to capture one of the Army of the Dead and bring it back. But that means they’ll have to go beyond the Wall to do it. Tormund tells Jon that there were others wanting to do the same. He takes the King in the North to the cells and Beric Dondarrion, Thoros and the Hound are there. Gendry remembers them and isn’t too happy to see them. Thoros mentions Jorah being a Mormont and Tormund ain’t too happy about that either. Every one is the enemy of someone else, but Jon is like forget that, we’re all on the same side. Gendry asks how and Jon says, “because we’re all breathing.” He unlocks the cells and they all go to the gate. When it’s opened, they all look at each other briefly, realizing that if they’re going to survive, they’ll need to work together. But can they?
Will Jon and the rest survive the Army of the Dead? Will they survive each other? Can Tyrion keep Dany under control until she and Cersei can reach a truce? And will Littlefinger’s scheming keep him alive through the next two episodes?
Game of Thrones airs Sundays at 9pm on HBO. Photos courtesy of HBO.