BEFORE I GO ON, THERE WILL BE SPOILERS. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
This episode is the one where we all remember. We remember those we lost, those who are still here, and those who will probably, absolutely, die in Episode 3.
We start with Jaime Lannister in front of pretty much everyone who hates him, save for Tyrion. Dany was ready to burn him right then and there, Sansa was ready to agree and Jon wasn’t saying much of anything. Dany was pissed that Cersei lied to her about fighting sending her army to Winterfell and blamed Tyrion, who looked like he was ready to cry his eyes out. Because although she cares about her Hand, Dany cares more about taking the Iron Throne.
With Jaime close to being turned into charcoal, Brienne stepped in and vouched for her friend, which helped to change Sansa’s mind. Dany wasn’t happy about that and tried to get Jon to take her side. But Jon was like, “yeah, um, I’m not listening to this shit. I’m Aegon Targaryen and YOU’RE MY AUNT.” Dany was on her own and had to accept Jaime staying alive for another day. Lucky to be breathing, Jaime then went out to the Gods Wood tree to finally face Bran-Not-Bran, who said he wasn’t mad about being pushed out of a tower window, losing the use of his legs, being dragged all over the country to meet a creepy man in a tree, and becoming this shady ass shell of a man. Why would he be mad about that when he knows EVERYTHING? Okay, he didn’t say all of that, but he did say he wasn’t mad. Jaime asked if Bran will be mad after the war is over and Bran-Not-Bran, ever the one to throw shade, answered, “How do you know there will be an afterwards?”
Later, Queen Dany let loose and told Tyrion if he’s gonna be a dumbass then she’ll get another Hand. He’s better than me cuz I would have thrown that pin at her and said, “take this raggedy ass pin cuz we’re all gonna die anyway!” And then I would have gotten unbelievably drunk. Luckily, Jorah was there to tell his
love Queen that Tyrion was a smart man and deserved to be Hand. And since she knows Jorah would lick her boots never steer her wrong, Dany decided to give Tyrion another shot.
Whether Sansa will get another shot is an entirely different story altogether. I’m loving the tension between Sansa and Dany because not for nothing, Sansa has been taken advantage of for most of this series. It’s nice to see her take charge and fight for her family. Dany tried the girl power thing to get Sansa to bow down, even touching her hand with some let’s-be-sisters mess. But that hand almost turned into a fist when Sansa asked what would happen to the North once the war was over. Winterfell belongs to the Starks and I agree they shouldn’t have to bow to anyone but a Northerner. Dany isn’t trying to hear any of that noise. She wants all of the Seven Kingdoms, including Winterfell.
Before things could get bloody, Theon arrived at Winterfell ready to fight for the family he betrayed. To my surprise, Sansa welcomed him with open arms and a couple of tears. My eyebrow arched like the Rock when he could smell what was cooking after seeing that exchange. Is this the beginning of Thansa? Seon?
As for another possible coupling I would ship, Arya turned into a full blown mack and found her way into Gendry’s underpants. My girl is now A WOMAN! I don’t know about the rest of you, but I was a little distraught seeing Arya getting her first (and maybe last) bit of sexy time on. Listen, if you’re gonna die, you may as well get naked with a hot guy who knows how to make weapons for you.
One of my favorite scenes of the episode was seeing Jaime knight Brienne. It was light on the sap, but still felt like a genuinely lovely scene. Brienne is one of the bravest characters on Game of Thrones and having Jaime knight her was just icing on the cake. I’m glad she didn’t cry because it would have felt forced. Instead, she was beaming with pride that her friend was the one to bestow such an honor on her. And seeing how happy being knighted made Tormund had me feeling a little conflicted. How do you choose between a one-handed rich man who used to have sex with his twin sister and an unstable Wildling who looks at you like you’re the finest cut of meat he’s ever seen? It’s a tough choice.
And then there’s Jon Snow. Brave. Honorable to a damn fault. And a dimwit. Jon, why would you tell Dany who you really are RIGHT BEFORE BATTLE? I mean, you’ve been through some shit over the years. You’ve lost family members, fought Wildlings and White Walkers, died and came back to life and you STILL have no idea about timing. Come on, man! Did you think Dany would take that news like it was no big deal? She’s been fighting for the Iron Throne since the show started. She’s not going to stop now, especially after realizing that you two are related and all she cared about was WHO WOULD SIT ON THE THRONE! She gave absolutely no fucks about you being her nephew. None. Nada. Zilch. NOTHING!! That oughta tell you something.
It didn’t matter anyway because the dead had arrived at Winterfell. I hope all of you got a good look at everyone in this episode. Because next time we see them, they’ll be fighting for their lives.
Who will survive the Great War against the White Walkers?
Game of Thrones airs at 9pm on HBO. Photos courtesy of HBO.