BEFORE I GO ON, THERE WILL BE SPOILERS. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Welp, they did it. The writers on Game of Thrones turned Daenerys Stormborn, the Mother of Dragons, into the Mad Queen. A woman who spent the past decade protecting the innocent, fighting for the underdog and burning those who would try to enslave the weak, took her last dragon and burned King’s Landing to the ground. What in the ever-loving FUCK?
Last week, I posted my thoughts about what I hoped would happen in the last two episodes of the series and boy was I completely wrong. I just knew that we were going to get a crazy plot twist or insane reveal that would turn the whole show around. But no, we got predictability, ridiculous character assassination and unsatisfying deaths. I guess I should talk about them.
Let’s start with Unsatisfying Death No. 1: Lord Varys. What in Seven Hells? How could one of the most interesting characters on the show go out like that? Betrayed by Tyrion? Burned to death for trying to save the realm? I call bullshit.
Then we have Dany and her seemingly being unhinged, paranoid and delusional about pretty much everything around her. COMPLETE BULLSHIT! Like I said last week, when Jon is emotional and makes dumbass decisions, he gets a pass. But Dany, who lost two of her dragons, most of the Dothraki and Unsullied, two of her closest allies and possibly her right to the Iron Throne, shows emotion and now she’s the Mad Queen? Again, COMPLETE BULLSHIT.
So now we’ve got a paranoid Dany on her way to King’s Landing, with a frightened Tyrion and Jon in tow (because they have no idea what to do) and the people of King’s Landing absolutely clueless to what’s about to happen to them. Tyrion learns that Jaime has been captured by Dany’s soldiers and is being held captive. So he asks Ser Davos to help him set his brother free so he can possibly convince Cersei to surrender. The goodbye scene between Jaime and Tyrion was one of the few scenes that brought tears to my eyes. The next morning, Cersei is in the Red Keep, looking over her kingdom and barely saying much of anything. The woman isn’t even drinking her customary glass of wine, for god’s sake. She’s just standing there, with that same look on her face she’s had this entire season.
Arya and the Hound get to King’s Landing just in time before the gates are closed and most of the people are left out of the Keep, including Jaime, who now has to find another way to get to Cersei. While all of that is going on, Dany flies in riding Drogon and starts burning the Iron Fleet like kindling, which was satisfying. Euron is annoying and I was glad to see all of his ships burning. I was hoping he would’ve been blasted to smithereens but no, he made it out of the water alive and in time to fight Jaime. This fight was totally unnecessary. The fucking place was about to burn (although that wasn’t a certainty yet) so what the hell were they fighting for? And then once the fight was over, Euron actually said, “I’m the man who killed Jaime Lannister.” But you weren’t, fool!! Jaime survived and continued on his merry way to Cersei.
So after all of the fighting, and Dany burning up the Iron Fleet, the posts around the Keep and turning the Golden Company into flambé (which seemed like a waste of an army), the Lannister Army threw down their swords, and the only thing that needed to be done was for the bells of surrender to ring. That was it. No more deaths, the Iron Throne would belong to Dany, and she would be Queen of the Seven Kingdoms. And the bells rang in time. Tyrion and Jon both breathed a sigh of relief, along with the rest of us. Dany looked like she was about to lose her shit, but I still held out hope she would see reason. But nope, Game of Thrones decided that was too good to be true. Let’s completely fuck up Dany’s entire character development and have her kill a city full of innocent people. For no fucking reason at all. Basically, Unsatisfying Deaths Nos. 2-1 million: the people of King’s Landing.
Visually, the burning of King’s Landing was spectacular, beautiful and terrible all at once. Seeing everything from the ground was actually very frightening. Imagine being there and a damn dragon starts burning pretty much everything, and soldiers are chasing you through the streets to kill or rape you, or both. Where do you go? Where do you hide? How do you survive?
While all of this chaos is going on, Arya and the Hound are looking for Cersei and the Mountain. But with everything falling down around them, the Hound decides that it’s too dangerous for Arya and tells her to leave. Umm, what? I know Arya is young, but that
girl woman KILLED THE NIGHT KING and he says to her, “go home?” And she does? Come on!!! Yeah, that sets up the fight between the Clegane brothers (which was dubbed “Cleganebowl” on Twitter) and the scenes of Arya trying to get the Seven Hells out of King’s Landing were beautifully shot and harrowing. And thank the Seven that Arya made it out alive or I would have camped in front of HBO’s offices and screamed “Shame!” at every employee who walked in that building. But I really wanted to see Arya murder Cersei. Which leads to Unsatisfying Deaths Nos. whatever the fuck: Cersei and Jaime.
The Lannister Twins have done some DIRTY shit. Aside from the whole sleeping-together-and-having-children thing, between them they have: pushed a 10-year old out of a window; spawned a hellish prince who cut off the head of our beloved (but dumb) Ned Stark; had Sansa’s direwolf killed; orchestrated the Red Wedding; attempted to have their brother, Tyrion killed more than once; murdered everyone in the Sept of Baelor using wildfire; made the Boltons Wardens of the North; too many other things for me to list here. They both deserved to die in the most horrific way and Cersei especially deserved to have Arya carve her face like a turkey. Instead, we get these two psychos finding each other and dying together, in each other’s arms, crushed by the stones supporting the Throne Room. WHAT?? After everything they’ve done, they get a romantic death? Like some Romeo and Juliet shit?? Did Benioff and Weiss forget who was watching this show?? We deserved so much better than this!!
And to top it all off, Jon is trying to get his army to fall back, to stop killing innocents so he can focus on the fact that the woman he loves has had a psychotic break and just committed genocide. He’s had to kill some of his own men to stop them from raping women, killing the elderly and acting like complete animals. Whatchu gonna do now, Jon/Aegon???
I have no idea what will happen next week, which is the final episode of the series. The last episode and I’m so unbelievably disappointed and scared that one of the greatest shows I’ve ever watched may end up going out like Seinfeld. My faith that Game of Thrones will end with a big ass bang has been completely shattered and I’m only watching because I said I would until the very end. Whether the show redeems itself somehow remains to be seen.
The series finale of Game of Thrones airs next Sunday at 9pm on HBO. Photos courtesy of HBO.